Today I Will See You Again
by etherphobos
Summary: Set after the main story of sun and moon. The protagonist, Elio, is very keen on seeing Lillie return from her travel to Kanto.
1. Chapter 1

_My Queen, you are a walking dream. The joy that the thought of you brings me is enough to lift me off the ground and take me to another place, away from this earth. You deserve better than the best thing this earth can give you. You deserve more than everything I could ever give you, and yet my selfless devotion to you, born out of pure selfishness, tells me I'm the right one for you. Your body and your mind yearn to be protected from the mundane ribaldry and its ineffectual perversions._

 _When I look at you, every fiber of my body tells me I exist only to admire your pure perfection. You are a carefully constructed collection of everything that is good and beautiful. You exist only to remind me that there is a heaven, and thanks to you I don't have to die to contemplate it._

 _Perhaps there could be others, I'm glad it's me. I'll thank fate, serendipity, I'll thank absurdity itself, for placing us together, at the same time._

 _You begin when I stop speaking, I can hear you when I'm silent. Your body is always right next to mine, I can feel you when I stop moving. You were before anything else, you will be after everything else ceases to exist._

 _I will see you again today, I can wait. The preamble kills me and delights me at the same time, the memory of your voice assails me and leaves me defenseless, your sweet laugh and playful giggles fill me with bliss and then increase my thirst for the sight of you. But I don't need to see you, I almost don't want to. Almost._

 _I can sense you moving, talking, smiling, laughing, on the same ground my feet are touching at this very moment. It would be a crime to keep you hidden, I want everyone to see you, I want everyone to enjoy you, to love you (almost) as much as I do. I am enamored with you, my Queen, my treasure, my wanderer, my time, my space, my anchor to this earthly plane, my portal to the land of dreams. My Lillie._

* * *

Elio opened the door of Kukui's house and went inside, unannounced, uninvited. He had done it many times before, they were close friends. It was a small, modest shack with only the bare necessities, and it was just as warm as it was outside, during the last days of summer. It was quiet and cozy, he was alone in there.

He went up the ladder that led directly into Lillie's room. Elio sensed a change of atmosphere, as if he were entering an entirely different place altogether with just some simple steps. He went over to her desk, her diary and a picture were on it. Elio took the picture with him and sat on her sofa bed. He laid his head down, extended his arm, and held the picture right above him. It showed him, Lillie, and Hau.

There she was, looking just like the Lillie he had dwelling in his mind, which held a complete mastery over his imagination. He stared at her. He remembered the day the picture was taken, they had just eaten some fresh berries. Elio couldn't remember which one was Lillie's favorite, he just remembered that he didn't like it.

He closed his eyes and imagined more of her. Her delicate green eyes, big and round, bright, tender, loving. Her small nose, a delicate curve ending in a whimsically sharp edge which barely surpassed the surface of her face. Her sweet and pliable mouth, capable of the warmest smiles. Her ivory skin, her neatly compact shoulders and gracefully long legs. Her hair. Elio kept his eyes closed, he had just fallen in love.


	2. Chapter 2

_Elio, Elio, Elio, Elio...My name deliciously rolling out your tongue feels me with pleasure. I almost feel guilty, how it makes me feel. Almost._

 _How many times have you uttered my name? And which one time is my favorite? So many to choose from, so many moments we shared together. And yet, the feeling that reaches me first and leaves me last, when I think of you, is regret._

 _Tell me why. Tell me why so I can go back to the past and tell myself, why am I so dense? Why was I so blind? Why did I let mundane matters distract me when you were right there in front of me?_

 _It was a cloudy night of spring—I force myself to remember every single detail, even if a part of me wishes to forget—when we were sitting peacefully on the sand. The clouds above hid us from the moon and from the rest of the world. The waves in front of us carried our words away from intruding ears, to keep them only between us. You gave me a letter._

 _It contained many carefully chosen words forming sweet and sympathetic sentences, all with one unifying message: thank you for being my best friend. Your prose gave you away, and you couldn't contain your insides to yourself either way, I remember clearly, once or twice you told me We must get married when we grow up. It was a puerile, idealized desire brought upon by your immature yet honest feelings._

 _And how did I respond to your childish gesture? And how did I respond to your letter? With the same failure on both occasions: with silence. I didn't even have the decency to say thank you, let alone tell you how I felt. I reflect I felt nothing during that moment. The fact that only now, when I cannot tell you how sorry I am and more, I discover how much of a heartless monster, ignorant, selfish, and stupid I am, may very well be enough punishment for my transgressions._

 _I regret everything. I regret being young and stupid. You were all I wanted, you were all I needed, and of this I wasn't aware. I have my suffering well deserved._

* * *

Beautiful and lively music played under the nightly sky filled with stars on Iki Town. Jolly folks full of energy danced and rejoiced around an imposing and solemn fire, exercising the best side of tradition and legacy.

Lillie carried a cup of ice cream with her all the way to her seat next to Elio, sporting a wide smile on her face. She lamented how it was too much for her. Elio wondered if she actually thought that or if she was saying it just so they could share the dessert. She gently offered him some. He took the spoon from her open hand extended at him and tasted it; it melted instantly on his mouth; the ice cream wouldn't last long with the summer night weather. Elio gave Lillie the spoon back and hoped it wouldn't be awkward. Her eyes revealed she wanted to take it, but then they showed how her anxiety took over her. She awkwardly stood up and went to get another spoon, while Elio waited for her without touching the melting ice cream. Lillie came back and they continued eating, each from their instinctively defined side. She was nervous, he liked the ice cream. They finished it and he drank what was left of it; she was happy. She asked him to dance but he said he was tired, and they continued gazing at the party in front of them.

The next morning Elio went to Kukui's house. He could hear music playing on the inside. It was upbeat and saccharine, certainly not the kind of music someone like Kukui would listen to out loud. Elio knew what kind of music Kukui was into, ska and tribal stuff, a far cry from what would traditionally be considered girlish pop, which currently resounded from the inside. He intuitively moved away from the door and went for the window. Elio carelessly looked inside expecting to find something mundane, perhaps fairly unusual. But what he saw made him instantly look away and move his head out of sight. The instant his eyes contemplated what was inside seemed an hallucination, he knew he had to ascertain on the nature of such a vision. He looked once more, Lillie was inside, alone; of course she was alone. She was wearing a white miniskirt and a small pink tank top that left her midriff bare. Her abdomen was agreeably concave and her belly button looked like a tiny surprised mouth. She was barefooted. She was actually white, as in the color white. She had a formal green tie tied to her head like a drunk executive celebrating. She was dancing slowly.

She had her eyes closed. Her feet moved calmly to the rhythm of the beat. She crossed her arms and then grabbed her shoulders, giving herself a tender hug. Her body swayed from left to right, her head tilted to each side as her body did, softly. The four walls around her protected her, the music shrouded her in bliss and covered her from the outside world. It allowed her to show her most sincere expression, devoid of all pretense. There was no need to please, no reason to hide, it was just her and the music. And the window was the only access to her purest, most hidden self.

Elio stared, he felt good and bad at the same. There was no malice behind his eyes, in fact there was not much at all. Whatever was going on in his mind, it was not discernible to him more than it was.

Before that moment Elio didn't feel any kind of attraction for Lillie, at least not of a kind that was noticeable to him. But, afterwards he was, at the very least, charmed by her. Perhaps he was infatuated with that moment in time, where he got a glimpse of something of which Lillie would never speak, something of which probably no one but her was aware.


	3. Chapter 3

_Once I found a nice spot under a tree. It was quite far from my house, and I needed to walk through water and mud to get there. But once I was covered by its shade, once I could feel the soft and warm soil on the back of my head, and the sweet summer breeze caressed my face and assailed my ears gently like a loving lullaby; once I was indistinguishable from the nature around me, I could rest. Bug pokemon were never far from me, and they were never hesitant to invade my little paradise. Neither did the flying pokemon ever stopped polluting the space above me with their jarring sounds. If only they had left me alone with my little piece of earth, if only._

 _I didn't ask for much, only for a little space below me to belong to me and to no one else, a little place to look at, to play with, to put away and to look at later._

 _But that place isn't mine. It never was._

 _One time I laid on my back with my eyes closed, shrouded by the bliss of peace and silence, when I felt a pressure on my back, soft but persistent, lively and irregular. I got on my knees and turned back. It was a little ledyba, looking straight at me. I tried to capture it but it broke free, and soon after two bigger ledian arrived, and I fled._

 _I returned a few days later and found a young couple laying down under the tree, chatting and laughing. They were tampering with the soil beneath to make their postures more pleasant, tearing pieces of grass and leaves from the tree without a care in the world. I could see genuine happiness in their eyes._

 _The ledian and ledyba were nowhere to be seen, but then they arrived, the three of them, and huddled themselves nicely around the couple. And the couple received them eagerly and embraced them with love. I turned back and left, and never returned._

* * *

Elio went to Kukui's, the door was open. Lillie was there, and she had company. Elio saw them immediately, two boys and a girl, and Lillie. They reacted enthusiastically and gave Elio a warm welcome before introducing themselves. They were Lillie's friends, Josh, Matty, and Nissa, all wearing swimmer clothes. They seemed older than both Elio and Lillie, and he sensed he wouldn't fit in with them; they belonged to another, very different, social circle. They said they would teach Lillie how to swim later.

Josh took one of his sandals off and looked at it, it was torn. He lamented audibly, Lillie laughed adorably at his misfortune. Josh gave her a faux-vindictive look and then playfully messed up her hair with his giant hand, Lillie got annoyed, Elio got annoyed. But then Lillie looked at Josh with an eager smile on her face. Elio thought she looked way too happy when she looked at him that way.

They prepared to leave for the beach and asked Elio to come along. He made up an excuse to skip what—in his mind—sounded like it would be a terrible time. They lamented the impossibility and Elio wondered if they were sincere. Then they left, and Elio sat on the sand and watched the sun go down.

Lillie came back by herself some time later, she was upset. She explained to Elio that they were taking a break from the swimming lessons, when Matty went to get some drinks, and Josh and Nissa used the opportunity to scare her. She got angry with them and left.

Elio asked Lillie if she wanted to do something that night but she said she wanted to be alone. She was tired and needed to recharge. Elio suggested they get a smoothie, but he got her favorite flavor wrong, he genuinely had no idea of what it could be. Lillie said he never remembered, Elio said he did remember, but he couldn't prove it.

Lillie's friends came back and apologized profusely and sincerely. She couldn't help but accept their pleads for forgiveness, they made her laugh. They suggested they go out, Nissa grabbed Lillie by the hand and told her she'd buy her a smoothie of her favorite flavor; she got it right. Lillie agreed!

Elio felt betrayed, she said she wanted to be alone. He pondered if Lillie actually said she wanted to be alone and realized she did, she really said it. He believed her, and she betrayed him and left holding Nissa's hand. Lillie had just lied to him.


	4. Chapter 4

_My eyes saw what's behind yours. I'll admit, it took me some time, but I learned to love all I found in there. You are a mysterious creature, you move and disappear as you please. If you told me to stop chasing you I don't know what I would do, I sense I wouldn't be able to. My desires would become perverse, perhaps they already are, and yet, the only one who could tell me so, is you._

 _You and everything that lays behind your eyes. Incorruptible purity, and a human mind, the primordial contradiction. But what are humans if not a contradiction? Irrational by nature. After all, I didn't expect someone like you to be based on or in accordance with reason or logic: you transcend all kinds of human-made labels. Any word with which they could come up to describe you would be nothing but a shameless, despondent attempt to defend themselves against your divinity. I'm certain of this, I'm sure my view of you is not skewed by my feelings, because I know you, I know you and I'm not afraid of you._

 _There's nothing for which you need to ask for forgiveness, no one in this world can judge you._

 _You were never mine, you belonged to yourself only for a few moments, and yet I cling to your essence. If you were gracious enough to let me stay near you. If only._

* * *

Another party, Elio didn't think he could stand it. The traitor sat right next to him and handed him a drink. He was angry with her, but during that split second, in which he looked at her face and her hand extended towards him, innocently holding a gift for him, his nervousness got the better of him, and he took the glass with an enthusiasm that showcased an eager love for her, instead of the transient hate he currently felt for her, and he hated himself for succumbing so easily immediately afterwards.

She seemed happy, for a change. She was happy and she wanted to talk to him. Elio let go of his indignation, and for a moment he listened to her. This time he wasn't blinded by his obsession with himself and the image of her next to him, this time he just listened.

She seemed fine, but as Elio kept listening to Lillie he realized she wasn't doing great, she didn't know what to do, or how to go on. She liked being alone, but now she dreaded moments of silence.

She woke up one day and her father had disappeared, her brother left soon after, and her mother became another person and turned against her, and yet, she stood firm and faced the world, for a while.

She said she didn't know how she was going to continue, it seemed like she couldn't do anything by herself. She said she didn't really know how to do anything. She said Burnet and Kukui had been too nice to her, way too nice, but they couldn't care for her forever. She said she just didn't know enough to be on her own just yet, and there was nothing she could do to change her current situation.

A swimmer, not any of her friends, approached them and barged into their tiny closed atmosphere, and asked Lillie to dance. She said no, he persisted, they ignored him. He turned aggressive, Elio reacted, he would make him go away in a second. Lillie grabbed his hand and stopped him from getting up, and told him it'd be better if they just left. Elio became upset, he asked her why. She said the future memory of that incident would be even worse if it included a confrontation, regardless of the outcome. Elio left with her, and stared at her as she walked with her eyes pointed at the ground. Elio deduced she had gone through that exact same situation before, but, how many times?

How many times had she had to endure that?


	5. Chapter 5

_I remember one day, we were at the beach, the sun coming down turned everything bright orange. I looked at you laying down, resting your torso on your elbow below you, picking up clean sand with your free hand and letting it fall through your fingers. No one else was there, just you and I. I saw you roam freely, the land and the sea were yours, you were truly free. You let me witness you. I saw you get tired and fall on the sand, breathing heavily, covered in sweat. I didn't dare to get near you, you were too much for me._

 _You fell into some rocks, your leg bled, I took care of you. You pushed me away, you genuinely wanted me to leave you alone, bleeding and in pain._

 _You were angry with yourself because you thought you were causing me discomfort. You were angry at your body because it wasn't strong to resist a fall and a couple of rocks._

 _Why do you always need to act that way? Why do you have to show a strong and firm face every time you leave your home? Why must you have your guard up all the time? Why does life have to be so hard? Why can't they just leave you alone?_

 _Why couldn't they just leave you alone?_

 _If you had never left, if you had never gone to Kanto, I would've told you this, and more, and much, much more. If only you had returned to me. If only. Now I'll never be able to tell you, you won't ever hear what I have to say._

 _And yet, I can hear you, you'll never leave me, I won't let you, I am absolutely certain you wouldn't want me to._

 _I saw you, just today. I saw your name engraved on a rock. I felt you through the breeze that caressed my face. I heard your laugh, it killed me and delighted me at the same time. You, my drunkard, my lost treasure, my obsession, my beginning and my end, my Queen. Lillie. I have witnessed you and I'll never let you go, I'll never ignore a single part of you. When I remember you I'll always think of you whole._

 _You, I've seen you, I've seen all of you, I've seen your joy, I've seen your anger, I've seen your love, I've seen your pain and your sorrow. I will be the guardian of your memory, I will let it define me. Your name will roam the earth and fill it with your essence. My Lillie._

* * *

Elio opened his eyes, and stopped reminiscing about times long gone. Tears were rolling down his face. He couldn't stop thinking about her, he sensed he wouldn't have been able to live the life she lived. He wouldn't have been able to endure as much as she did, she was the strongest person he had ever met, she deserved all of his respect and admiration.

He got up the sofa bed without bothering to wipe the tears off his face. He took the picture back to her desk and left it in the same position it was before he took it. Elio then went for Lillie's diary. He gently stroke the cover before he grabbed it. He lifted it and put it in front of his face, and took a deep breath.

Then he left Lillie's room, and then Kukui's house. He closed the door behind him and walked away, taking the diary with him. He wasn't sad, his face was clean. The sun shone brightly upon him, it was at its most harming state, right above him, but it couldn't hurt Elio. He would never let anyone hurt him, never again. He held the diary firm in his hand, he intended to read it every day and to add his own entries on it. He planned to do it for the two of them, for him, and for her, for Lillie.


End file.
